But, as James will be the first to tell you, even big guys can suffer from fear and anxiety, paranoia and low self-esteem.  These issues, coupled with a strong narcotics addiction, eventually led him to seek help at New Directions North, NDI’s program for veterans with co-occurring disorders.

James’ drug career began at the age of 20, while he was working as a security guard at bars and clubs around Orange County.

“I had a pretty good cocaine habit,” he says.  “I got caught up in the nightlife.”

Seeking to change his ways, James joined the Army in 1983.  He was sent to Nuremburg, Germany, and, although he admits to being a “power drinker” during his time in the military, he was able to stay away from drugs.

After leaving the Army, James went to work as a concrete pumper and began using drugs again.  Then, after his son was born, he quit drinking and made a concerted effort to stop doing drugs.  He moved to Pinon Hills in the high desert, where he worked as a corrections officer for several years.  After his wife left him in the late 1990s, James struggled to raise three kids by himself.  Eventually, he fell back into his old lifestyle.  He began smuggling drugs, and because drugs were readily available, he started using again.  More and more, James found himself spending less time with his kids.  Then, in 2004, during one of his smuggling runs, James was stopped by the police.  He was charged with possession of 80 lbs. of marijuana – and sentenced to five years in prison.

After less than a year in prison, James was let out on probation.  Yet, he still had many demons to conquer – his time behind bars had done nothing to lessen his anger and anxiety.

“Without doing drugs I couldn’t rest, I couldn’t sleep.” James says.  “I was very paranoid.”

He used heroin to calm his nerves and lessen his paranoia – but soon he was addicted to the narcotic.  Finally, in 2007, James had had enough.  He sought help at the Long Beach VA, and was soon referred to New Directions. After a short detoxification and assessment period, James began his recovery at New Directions North. 

James says that being surrounded by other veterans made him feel safe, and the willingness of clinicians and staff members to work with him and find the appropriate treatment plan was the key to his success.

“They were very thorough in giving me a chance to recover.” James says.  “I took what they gave me and I used it in the most advantageous way.”

Though his recovery wasn’t easy, James graduated from New Directions in June, 2008, after only nine months in the program.  Immediately after leaving NDI he went to U.S. Vets and entered their Father’s Program, which offers parenting classes and reunites dads with their children. 

James now has a great relationship with his children and step-kids, all of whom live in Southern California. 

“I’m a much better dad these days,” James says.  “I deal with my kids, help them through their problems.  And, they help me with mine.”

James has also become a member of New Directions’ Alumni Ambassadors, a Toastmasters group made up of NDI graduates.  Members speak at town halls and other local events, tell stories about their experiences and talk about New Directions.

Recently, James was offered a job as Service Coordinator for New Directions North.  In taking this position, his journey has come full circle.  He now helps other veterans who are struggling with many of the issues that he’s already tackled.  James says he enjoys giving back to the agency that has given him so much.  In the future, he would like to assist with fundraising and act as a spokesman for graduates of the program.   An articulate and enthusiastic advocate of New Directions, James should not have a problem fulfilling his goals.