With my husband, 3 kids, a home, and a business I remained busy for many years. Active in the community, a stay-at-home mom with a prominent role in the PTA -- for more then a decade I had everything that I wanted!

But, in 2003 my world changed in an unimaginable way. I came home to find my 20 year old daughter lying dead and alone. Placing my hand on her chest to find no heartbeat was beyond words.  From that moment on I spiraled into the deepest, darkest place I could find. I can’t remember much of the 1 ½ years that followed.  I became lost in my grief, and I felt non-existent.  Incapable of parenting my two other children, who were 7 and 12, the unbearable grief also separated me from my husband, and our world crumbled.

I began to use large amounts of cocaine and alcohol to take away the incredible pain I felt – but nothing made the sadness go away. I lost all hope. My husband also resorted to the insanity of drugs and alcohol and became abusive.  He ended up in jail for four months and our children were sent to Florida.   I was now completely alone and fell deeper into depression. Eventually, we separated and sold our home.   Married for 22 years at this time I had no clue how to be alone – especially in my state – and I was not equipped to be independent. My children returned to California, and we stayed in hotels for 7 months using all of the money until I finally had to leave them with a friend.

This was the beginning of the end for me. I was destitute and sick, and felt like I had no reason to live.  Sensing my desolation, a friend took me to Brotman Hospital in order to get help. After nine days I was referred to New Directions.  From the moment I walked through the door I felt a sense of hope.  New Directions gave me back my life and afforded me the time and opportunity to learn about my disease and become a new person, a loyal friend and great mother.  

Today I am a changed woman. My children and I have been through intensive therapy, and we are healing together.  For the last three years my husband has taken care of the kids and insured their health and well being.  After nearly a year spent in treatment, I left New Directions and entered a sober living facility, where, today I am resident manager.  My son spends every weekend with me, and my daughter and I are very close.  A year and a half ago I was given a job as receptionist at New Directions.  In that time, I have learned that I am capable of anything. I really believe in this program, and I am grateful each day to be surrounded by loving people who are helping me to better my life.  And, each day I work a 12 step program so that I will never have to return to the hopelessness and despair that I once felt.